The One Who Was “Mentally Developed”

“Want to go to a club?” My 61-year-old mom asked me.

If you know my mom at all, she looks 40, and she loves life. So, her asking me to go to a club with an open bar wasn’t a strange enough request for me to warrant even a raised eyebrow. My mom is part of a dance group that gets together a couple of times a week, goes on vacations together a few times a year, and they were throwing a party at a local club for the holidays.

So, that’s when I find myself in the middle of a club (of which I am loathing more and more–the whole club scene that is) and the second tallest person in a sea full of Asians. Ever since I’ve known my mom (that would be all my life), she drinks about half a glass of diluted wine, gets the Asian flush (where her whole face gets bright red), and is pretty much done for the night. So I fed her some vodka-based drink being the evil daughter I am and settled in to babysit her for the night while sipping my Jameson and playing a wallflower while my mom danced with her friends (and was seriously the cutest thing ever).

After a few drinks, I figured I’d do some dancing, too, since I had on a hot dress and even hotter heels ;). On a side note, most Asians have no rhythm. Before I knew it, a bartender brought me a shot, courtesy of the only white guy in the place (a waiter who worked there). He was tall and cute, but young. He started dancing with me. He actually had rhythm, so I danced with him for a while until he grabbed me and kissed me. I pushed him away and said something lame like, “My mom is right there.” (I’m even laughing typing that out right now).

I excused myself to use the restroom, and he insisted on walking me and insisted on getting my number. Here is the problem I’ve faced ever since I started in this single-gal world: I don’t know how to reject people in a nice way, and I don’t know how to say no when asked for my number. (Blog readers, please send me some pointers). So, I gave it to him, and he made me take his number down. He then said he’d call me later. Sigh.

The next day he texted me. And my other dilemma is that I am too polite to ignore people. So I typed a very nice “friend zone” response. Then he asked me to hang out. I told him he was very sweet but too young for me. And I told him he lived too far away (It’s true. 400 miles is pretty far).

He texted this response (in its absurd entirety. Horrid grammar errors and all): “I understand the situation. I know a lot of people that are older than me but arent as mentally developed as me. We are just having fun and enjoying ourselves.” (To which I did not respond).

So the next day he tried again. “Come chill with me once more before you go back to so cal. No strings attached I just enjoy hanging out with you. Your like a breath of fresh air in my crazy life.” (I told him thanks but I couldn’t).

So the next day, he tried again. “U didn’t make a mistake by givin me your number (Uh, I beg to differ on that point). Your shy and I see you feel like your getting close to me, It’s understandable your afraid if u hangout with me, you might feel some attachment and you live far away. But if u do get the courage to grab a drink or some food with me, everything going be alright in the end I promise.”

So, he’s mentally developed. He has a crazy life. He has no grasp of third-grade grammar. He made all sorts of assumptions and basically said I was a coward. All definite ways to win a girl’s heart.

Moral of the story: When a guy asks for my number, and I don’t want to give it out, say no. Now, I just have to figure out a way to do that nicely.

3 thoughts on “The One Who Was “Mentally Developed”

  1. Let me introduce you to the rejection hotline
    call 310-217-7638

    And this is what it says:

    “Hello, this is NOT the person you were trying to call. You have reached the Rejection Hotline, provided by Rejection Anyway, the person who gave you this Rejection Hotline number did NOT want you to have their real number. We know this sucks, but don’t be too devastated. So why WERE you given a Rejection Hotline number?

    Maybe you’rejust not this person’s type
    (note: this could mean boring, dumb, annoying, arrogant, or just a general weirdo)
    Maybe you suffer from bad breath, body odor, or a nasty combination of the two.
    Maybe you just give off that creepy overbearing, psycho-stalker vibe.
    Maybe the idea of going out with you just seems as appealing as playing leapfrog with unicorns

    Regardless of the reason, please take the hint and accept the fact that you were rejected and then, get over it.

    And please, do your best to forget about the person who gave you this number, because trust us they have already forgotten about you.

    Thanks for calling The Rejection Hotline, provided by
    And if you’re still listening, don’t worry, it could be much worse, in addition to being rejected, you could have been laughed at too! ”


  2. Oh, my, gosh, girlie. This is the story of my life. I don’t know how to say no politely!! I can’t say no – I don’t want to hurt someone’s feelings. But people also aren’t very good at taking the hint.

    I have a “friend” who I actually met while married. He knew I was married. He got my number *Through a friend* and proceeded to text me, incessantly. Whenever I’d bring up my husband he’d talk about how he loved being friends.

    As soon as he found out the ex and I were separating, he swooped in. I would full on ignore his texts and he’d just keep on texting. It doesn’t help I’m not attracted to him AT ALL. But I couldn’t bring myself to be mean.

    Finally, I bottom-lined it with him: I said I like you as a friend, but really nothing more, and I don’t want you to get the wrong idea. I felt like crap, but I didn’t want to string someone along.

    He has only texted twice in 10 days. That is a new record.

    The moral of this story is that I don’t know how to deny someone!!! I hate it.

  3. Alright. When you say “No” to guy and you’re trying to be polite (50/50 chance that I’ll just tell the jerk to get lost) just say: Oh! That’s sweet – but no thank you. Have a nice night. And ~immediately~ turn around and walk away.
    It seems like you’re being short, and you are, but you know what? If someone asks you for your phone number without much of a hint of interest from you, then most likely he is going to ask every single girl who will give him the time of day. Don’t feel bad, he is the jerk – not you.

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