The Worst Breakup Line EVER (Guest Blog)

A few weeks ago, April guest blogged about dealing with her newly single status and now she’s back. Apparently, she has discovered that this writing thing is cheaper than a therapist 🙂

I met him at a gay bar. For some reason, every time I go to a gay bar with some friends, I end up finding the one straight guy. He was actually one of the dancers. Yes, one of THOSE dancers. Hey, what can I say? There wasn’t much covering that gorgeous body of his and I had had a few drinks by the time my friend dared me to give him my number. I wrote it on a dollar bill, sauntered over and said, “I don’t know which way you swing, but here’s my number.” Laughing and singing Carly Rae Jepsen, I went back to my evening with my friends.

The funny thing, though, he actually did call me and asked me out. We dated the whole summer. He wasn’t really a great conversationalist, but he was a beautiful man, so that was enough for me.

Late in the summer, he asked me to go to his body building competition. Again, not really my cup of tea, but again, he was really gorgeous. (I come off really shallow here, don’t I?) I didn’t want it to seem really girlfriend-y, so I brought my best friend. He came out from backstage for about 2 minutes to say hello, and it was the most awkward conversation I’ve ever had in my life. Not really sure if he was uncomfortable having me on his turf or meeting my best friend, but I didn’t hear from him for almost two weeks.

By the time I finally got up the nerve to send him an “I don’t know what’s going on, but if you don’t want to see me anymore, that’s ok” text, he sent this back:

“I’ve had a good time with you and you’re a great girl, but you just don’t fit into my lifestyle.”

Ouch. I knew it was just a summer fling, and I didn’t see it going anywhere, but OUCH. I have no idea what that even means. And because I deleted his number from my phone, odds are I will never know.

Everyone I’ve told has theories as to what that line actually means, but the bottom line is this: there is no good breakup line. Regardless of how much (or how little) you cared about the person, the breakup is inevitably going to sting. Personally, I would rather if he had told me that the fact that I like pizza and beer more than tuna and protein shakes was what doomed our relationship. The worst breakup line ever is one that keeps them guessing. So if you are going to break up with someone, man up and tell the truth. No matter how much it hurts. Breaking up is hard to do; don’t make it harder by lying or making up some vague reason why you are ending it.

Wait a minute…LIFESTYLE???

One thought on “The Worst Breakup Line EVER (Guest Blog)

  1. Lifestyle of the bodybuilder:
    -3-4 hours in the gym every day — NO EXCEPTIONS
    -Absolute obsessive eating habits, whether it be all complex carbs, all protein, or no fat eating — it is obsessive. Especially during competition time. I wouldn’t even brush my teeth with tap water lest any sodium get into my system by mistake.
    -Incredible amounts of money spent on supplements that either do or do not make a difference but the fear if one does not use them, an “edge” will be lost.
    -obsessive tanning and tanning products applications.

    Maybe you were just too normal?

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