The Law of Wingman: As Told By The Wingmaster (Guest Post)

Today’s Guest Post is by my roommate, @hashtagBRANDON_. I’ve only known Brandon for a short time, a little under a year, but he has been an integral part of my journey to self-discovery. He met me right after my separation and has been there for me as a shoulder to cry on, a sounding board for my ideas, fears, hopes, and dreams, a drinking buddy, a partner in shenanigans, and most importantly, someone who got in my face and told me to stop being a victim. Brandon has quickly become one of my best friends (and he’s gonna kill me for being so mushy in his introduction…) from our late night talks in the hot tub to insomnia-tic jam sessions on the guitar to beer pong in the garage to the middle of the night brilliant ideas to go to Vegas to hours of sitting at coffee shops dreaming about our futures and late-night fat kid bagel creations. Ladies, he’s single, so please, allow me to introduce you to Brandon…

Let’s be honest…

For the most part, women WANT to be approached, but nowadays it’s just uncommon for men to get it right. There are millions of reasons for this, but I will trace a lot of confusion down to one of the most common scenarios available.

Women love to go out…in groups….with at least ONE woman who hates men that approach women. I would say I don’t get it, but if we are being completely honest, it’s usually the less attractive friend. This isn’t a post about women, it is about wingmen, but set up is everything, as I will describe further in a moment.

In this day and age, WE NEED WINGMEN!

This isn’t to play the opposite sex, but to better the best possibilities of actually making an impression.

I’ve learned a couple of true facts about women, some of which I accredit to Hanssie, and from market research (girlfriends of mine who love to complain about men) and they follow as such:

1. Women get the worst pick up lines daily, and excessively. (I’m sure you readers have been following my roommate’s posts about online dating)

2. Women want to be impressed.

3. Women want to find a man who can carry himself well, and wear his confidence proudly.

And finally…

4. Women don’t realize their own body language a lot of times, and men aren’t the best at reading situations.

Seems simple enough, but in a day and age where time on Instagram at a bar is more common than actual interaction, WINGMEN ARE NECESSARY.

For anyone who doesn’t know what a wingman is, shoot yourself, then allow me to explain. A wingman is any secondary party brought into a situation to help a conversation start with said desired girl. The wingman has a specific duty of helping the original party get the best possible light shown on their life in hopes to build interest and interaction.

Simple enough, again, right?!

Wrong.

83%(for all you HIMYM fans, this is fake data anyway) of ALL WINGMEN FAIL!

There are clear rules and boundaries, but if you don’t establish them early, you will never get the girl. This can work for both men and women, as long as rules are established. Here goes…

1. Wingmen are there for one reason, HELP YOUR FRIEND GET THE GIRL/GUY! Don’t steal the spotlight, be there for them, NOT YOU. In most cases, it ends up working for all parties involved to make sure you take care of your friend first.

2. Have a personality!!! This seems so easy, but don’t take a friend who is going to be that uncomfortable guy/girl who talks about their cats. Awkward!

3. Go with anything your friend talks about…….ANYTHING. Agree with them one hundred percent! If they talk about climbing Mt. Everest, you are now the Sherpa who carried the luggage.

4. Don’t leave until your friend succeeds. Bailing on a friend until they’ve successfully separated from the group is the worst possible thing you can do…other than telling everyone they’re married and cheating on their spouse.

5. Have a game plan! If you don’t have a plan, you’re going to fail. Have something to talk about, and be confident about it! Make sure you have talked it over. For instance, talk about a bet you and your wingman are trying to settle, and get right into it.

It should be easy enough, but for most people, it’s not. Guys, stop sucking at picking up girls, and girls, don’t be afraid to talk to guys! Wingmen make the world go around, stick to these simple rules and I guarantee you will have drastically more success.

You’re welcome, World.

Follow me!!!

Twitter: @hashtagBRANDON_

Instagram: @hashtagBRANDON

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