When I was in college, everyone asked me if I was dating. I wasn’t (and it wasn’t for a lack of trying, by the way).

When I started dating my now ex-husband, everyone asked when I was gonna get married.

When we got married, everyone asked when we’d have children.

These are the same people that complain endlessly about their husbands and children.

Now they all say that they’re living vicariously through me.

My conclusion: I should stay single for a good long time.