I opened my message box to see a picture of an eight pack. Of abs. No face, just a smooth, Jersey Shore, orange-tanned chest in the reflection of a mirror with some crooked mismatched towels hanging on the towel rack in the right hand corner and a shower curtain peeking out of the left. A jar of hair gel, a toothbrush and toothpaste round out the picture of the faceless ab man with the iPhone taking a self portrait.
*Cue the eye rolling*
Most of the time I ignore messages from guys whose profile picture shows body parts, but I figured that I’d seen enough of these to address the issue of online dating profile pictures and so I click on it. The profile is unsurprising – horrid grammar, a proclamation of how much he loves to work out and usually another twelve pictures of him in some sort of undressed state and a picture of him with his dog. Gotta love online dating.
I always wonder why they choose the bathroom mirror? Are there no other mirrors in the house? Can’t he stop and admire his abs with a quick phone pic at Target one day? Or better yet, can’t he get a roommate/neighbor/friend/self-timer to take a picture of him. With a shirt on? Pondering these questions probably will keep me single for a good long while.
Gentlemen, your abs aren’t going to impress me, cause me to reciprocate (although, putting a picture of myself with a duck face in the bathroom mirror/driver seat of my car might be comparable in the most douchy department) or make me want to meet you. How about you wow me with your intelligence, personality and manners instead? Better yet, call me. I’ll take some awesome pictures for your dating profile. Dating tips included in the portrait fee.