Recently, I’ve been going through old posts to systematically clean up every post starting from 2009 until the present in order to print them in a tangible book. I didn’t anticipate the emotional journey that I would take myself on by doing so. Apparently, there was some baggage while I was trying to dump old baggage that I picked up and never really processed. So, I’m currently somewhere in 2012 posts…
In that process, I’ve realized that there were so many memories and stories that I captured, and looking back, I am so happy I’ve done so. But I’ve been remiss in the last few years, choosing to be sucked in the social media world of 24-hour stories and meaningless posts. So, I had a someday/maybe thought of coming back to this blog and just writing again.
Today, something happened that I don’t ever want to forget. And so finally feeling compelled to capture this moment, here I am. This may be my proudest moment as a mother and I didn’t want to let it slip away.
It is 2020. And 2020 has been a doozy year. From unexpected deaths, a worldwide pandemic, lockdown, murder hornets, and now infuriating racial injustice and inequality, police brutality and murder is brought to light in the face of a digital world, the last six months have been exhausting, infuriating, heartbreaking, scary and uncertain. As a parent, you walk a fine line of both protecting and educating your child while also trying to help them understand and navigate the world.
This morning, Kidlet (who I guess is almost 16 now, so is more like a teen-let) woke up and came into the kitchen (aka our quarantine office) and said, “I just went off on a classmate on Instagram.” Prepping myself for any number of teenage drama or angst, I stopped my morning email check and asked her what happened.
She proceeded to tell me about a classmate who posted on Instagram saying that all police officers were corrupt racists. Kidlet messaged her and told her that by generalizing that all police officers were bad, her classmate was doing the very thing that she was speaking out against – generalizing a group and discriminating against them – and that kind of thinking is what got us here in the first place.
I praised her for speaking up, acknowledging how difficult it can be to call your peers out when they are wrong and that I was proud of her. She anxiously awaited her classmate’s response. A few hours later, I came home from an appointment and asked her if she heard back. Kidlet said, “After going back and forth for a bit, I finally decided to call her to hear and try to understand where she was coming from. We were able to talk about it and understand where each of our opinions was coming from. Everything is good now.”
Imagine a world where we talked to each other and come from a place seeking to understand each other…
Hanssie,
It’s good to see you post! You’re a gifted writer, and I used to enjoy reading your blog. You’ve obviously done a great job raising your kidlet turned teen-let. A beauty inside and out….but surely you already KNOW that!
I’m enjoying re-reading your old posts on divorce & starting over as that’s where I’m finding myself now. At 59yo…reinventing myself should be interesting! This is a huge step of faith & I’m thankful to have more support (even from the church & Christian friends) than you did. That whole thing saddens me that you had to go through that mess. It’s like a compounded betrayal. And I do know THAT feeling.
I do hope you start posting again!
Hi Cathy!
I missed writing too! I guess I’m just not super focused on what to write about these days. Glad you found this post – I just wanted to document the moment.
Reinvention is always an interesting roller coaster but there is so much good that comes from it. I’m sorry that you’re having to set out on this journey but I am so glad you have support. I hope you are able to look back and see the growth from this moment on and the good that will come with it – even though you may have to wade through the bad.
I wish you lots of luck as you move forward and navigate the future. Be strong and know that there is a beautiful destination ahead for your story!
Love, Hanssie