On Becoming “Facebook Official”

So, today I wanted to talk about this new thing in relationships…becoming”FBO.”

Back in my day, and around the Bible college/Christian universities circles, couples would “DTR” (or define the relationship), at some point in dating, exchange class rings and that would make them “official.” This began a relationship that would be the stepping stone to something more serious, long-term, and eventually (especially in the Bible College world) a trip down the aisle.

Now, with a couple of clicks, a couple can “DTR” and tell the world that they are “In a Relationship.” There seems to be a few steps in this phenomenon. First, comes the profile picture. One person in the relationship will change their profile picture to add in the significant other. Usually (but not always), it’s the girl. To which there are numerous squeals of delight in the form of comments from girlfriends. Sometime after that, as things become more serious, the other person may also change their profile picture to the two of them.

But, until one person changes their relationship status from “Single,” to “In a Relationship,” it is not deemed as “FBO” (or “Facebook Official”). Did you know that if you LIKE your friend’s changed status, it prompts you to send them a Starbucks gift card to congratulate them? Yup, it’s a big deal.

So, this begs a few questions. What if one person changes their status but the other one doesn’t? I’m willing to guess that women are usually the first to change. Is it awkward if I change my relationship status, but you don’t change yours? Would I be insecure or bitter if you don’t? And if you don’t change it, why not? Are you ashamed of me?

Hello, couples therapy…

My absolute favorite are the ones that change their relationship status almost monthly (for the same or different guys/girls –either way, it’s entertaining). Oh, the drama. As soon as that status goes from “In a Relationship” to “Single,” I am compelled to jump over to that person’s timeline and see if I can piece together what went wrong. And then a day later, it changes back, I know you are all breathing a sigh of relief along with me that things are okay again.

I have a Facebook friend who has changed his relationship status no less than five times since I met him about a year ago. Each time with a different woman whom he has deemed the “love of his life.” I’d like to ask him at what point do you just stop announcing it via Facebook and let it be?

When I got a divorce, I quietly removed my status of “married,” to nothing. I simply just deleted it. I didn’t feel like I needed to make a major announcement or anything. The people who needed to know, I told. When I finally announced it via this blog almost 8 months later, some people were super shocked. I guess I saw no point in making a big deal about it via social media.

But how do I feel about making the opposite transition? From nothing to “In a Relationship with…” I don’t know. Will making a relationship FBO make it any more real? I guess that will remain to be seen, but for now, if I ever get “In a Relationship” with someone and feel like it’s time for everyone to know, you’ll read it here first. 😉

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