Omg! I’m Old.

Gawd. When did this happen??!

I was walking around the U.S. Open this weekend with my friends. Clouds of sand dust swirled around making the atmosphere almost misty in its haze. All around us were the sounds of chatter and festivities and half-naked teens. I couldn’t help but roll my eyes. The adolescents seemed to swarm the patch of beach roped off for the Open, like they were bees around a beehive. Buzzing toward each other, girls in skimpy bikinis had crude messages written in Sharpie across their chest, stomachs and backs, offering up all sorts of invitations – for free hugs, asking to be slapped and one misguided boy had “Free Rape,” written in big letters across his chest. I was appalled.

I caught myself saying, “Wow, kids these days,” before I realized how freaking ancient that made me sound…and to them, a middle-aged, divorced, single mom, I am freaking ancient.

But still, I was disgusted by what I saw. It made me very happy with my decision to homeschool the Kidlet because if my daughter ever came home with “$1 Kisses” emblazoned across her chest, I’d lock her in a tower until she was 40. I don’t even care how old that last statement made me sound.

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