I like to be in control. I really like to be in control. Okay, okay. I admit it…I capital L.O.V.E. control. I like my life nicely planned out before me with no bumps or forks in the road.
I loathe roller coasters, airplanes, and drama because I don’t feel like I am in control. When I got on a vacation (which I haven’t since 2003), I read every detail of the guidebook and make charts and diagrams of what we should do, when we should do it and alternatives if anything should happen to Plan A. I like listing out my day by what I am going to do each hour so I feel more in control. Yes, I am THAT sick.
And yes, I am often disappointed.
This week was a way out of control week. Tomorrow, we are taking an unplanned trip to visit my parents in Northern California to visit my ailing grandfather who fell and broke his hip and is showing signs of Alzheimer’s. As a person who has been very blessed to have a very healthy family – we’ve never had anyone close to us with cancer or been in the hospital for any extended periods of time – I feel scared and definitely not in control.
But that’s life. It’s God’s way of teaching us that we aren’t in control and that we should be trusting in Him. I have a lot to learn.