Christmas always makes me a little sad.

When I was 8, I lost my Grandma suddenly a few days after Christmas. When I was 19, I lost my other Grandma a few days before Christmas.

When I was 29, my life shattered on December 1st and cast a pall over the entire season.

Last year, fresh from my separation and not feeling like doing anything for the holidays, I did the very bare minimum for the sake of the Kidlet and just went through the motions.

Last night, as we put our tree up, I slowly unwrapped each ornament in a box of ornaments filled with memories of each year for the last 14 years of my life. My ex and I started the tradition of choosing a couples ornament each year. Each glass ball holds countless memories and overwhelming feelings from a time when I was a different person. I not-so-carefully rewrapped them and put them back into the box to go back into the garage. Those ornaments will never be hung again. That time of my life is over.

I miss the times gone by, but I’m replacing the old, sad memories with new happy ones. Hanging ornaments and drinking egg nog with my new neighbors –two of whom are now some of my closest friends, picking out the “perfect” tree with my new roommates, eating caramel apples and decorating…

It is the most wonderful time of the year…and I am happy.