We all had *that* friend. You know the one. The kid that always wanted to choose the game and then when they lost or things didn’t go their way, they’d pout, take their ball and go home.
As I continue to navigate through these murky waters called, “dating,” I am making sure to ask my single friends and my “dating doctor,” questions along the way. I am getting a crash course in Dating 101 and not only do I not like what I see and hear, but I am finding that I am terrible at it. It really is a game. And don’t get me wrong, I love games –if it involves a basket and a ball. A few weeks ago, I wrote a post about how I wasn’t able to keep a guy’s interest because guys liked girls that are mysterious and I am pretty much the polar opposite of mysterious.
My other friend says I need to have options and be coy, even if it goes against everything I believe in about being someone’s option and against who I am –which is the opposite of coy. I have also been forcing myself to read a few dating books for a project I am working on, and it tells me that I should never text a man I am dating, I should tell him that I don’t get texts and ignore his texts until he figures it out and calls me instead. Oh and I should never accept a date for Saturday if he asks after Wednesday.
The book also said that I needed to not speak much during the first date, smile a lot, and make him ask all the questions so I could talk about myself. And if there was a lull in the conversation, I was not supposed to ask him questions to keep the conversation going, but just sit there and make him work and be just a bit uncomfortable to impress me. Oh and giggle and look pretty. (I am not making this up).
So, if I understand this correctly, I am to act like someone I am not and follow a bunch of rules just so I can get and keep a man’s interest. There are a lot of rules for this game.
I hate rules, and I hate dating games. I’m taking my ball and going home.
2 thoughts on “It’s All Fun And Games Till Someone Gets Hurt”
ugh. double ugh. triple ugh. I don’t get it. I’ve tried reading through a few of those “rules” books as well, and I find them atrocious. I *get* that men like to chase and hunt. But I guess I’m just not a good target if it means I have to change who I am. I’m with you… playing games is exhausting. I just don’t get how pretending to be something you aren’t, just to snag the guy, is going to work out in the long run. Especially if the whole point is to build a partnership instead of just snag the ring. I’d rather buy my own damn ring if that’s the point of it all.
Thank you for putting it so eloquently Hannsie – I’m on the same boat!! 🙂