A long time ago, I read in some book to make a list of the qualities I wanted in a future husband and make sure that the man I would marry fit every single one of those qualities before I married him. I made the list. He didn’t fit all of them. I threw away the list and I married him anyway.
Have you ever gone to the grocery store without knowing exactly quite what you were planning on getting and ended up with a bunch of stuff you don’t really need, nothing you can really use and ended up spending way more money than you have planned? Take it from me, a self-proclaimed shopaholic, that the best, most responsible way to shop is with a list. Sure, someone with a list can still be led astray by the bright colored candy bars that scream at you, leaping off the shelves and into your cart or the way-too-good-to-pass-up item that you surely need three boxes of, but at least you are coming home with what you needed and wanted in the first place.
Being a recovering Type A person, I’ve held on to my love for lists.
Lists help my scattered brain focus and fixate on the ultimate goal and not be distracted by the pretty papered junk food items that entice and beckon. The things that are pretty to look at, but might be bad for you…
Let me implore you, my single friends, to make your own list of qualities that you seek in your future mate. When I was 17, I made my list in my Kim Andersen journal, right next to where I doodled cute little flowery vines. So, this time around, I’ve made a new list. Now that I’m older and less inclined to use a pen and paper, I made mine on a pretty…nerdy…spreadsheet. And it’s extensive.
I made three columns: Must Haves, Negotiables, and Dealbreakers of the man that would win my heart.
I’m still working on it.
And you better be damn sure that I’m not throwing this one away. If I do, everyone feel free to punch me in the stomach. (Don’t hit the face–it’s the moneymaker).
I hope you have a fantastic weekend full of adventures and shenanigans. I’m heading down to San Diego to play.
Be ready on Monday morning for my first guest blog post with the infamous roommate, @hashtagbrandon_ on “The Law of Wingman: As Told By The Wingmaster.”
haha…friend and I were talking last night about an Oprah guest whose deal-breaker was a guy who drank from a straw…
We both made lists, we both married men that didn’t fit! We learned our lesson, that you can’t change someone, really and truly. Your list is off to a great start and I know from experience that you will attract the right person to you. xoxo
Lists are good. But I learned my lesson the hard way that lists should be revisited and updated as needed. I created a list like this over 10 years ago in a sociology class. (Wow, I feel old all of a sudden.)Then I met my husband, who matched over 95% of that list (and ALL the non-negotiables). But now we’re separated. And looking back at the list… I see that we have BOTH changed. He doesn’t FIT all the criteria anymore. And there are some things I would remove (most of the superficial stuff) and a LOT more that I would ADD. (Now that I am older and wiser… ha!) I thought I knew what I wanted back then. Now I’m not so sure. Maybe it’s time to make a brand NEW list???