I Want You to Want Me, I Need You to Need Me…

Here I am again, staring 2am straight in the eyeballs with my blurry eyeballs.

I remember 2am. Last year. 2am meant one of two things – if it was Sunday through Wednesday, I had insomnia. If it were Thursday through Sat I was partying.

I broke up with 2am for the kinder, gentler 11:30pm…until these last few weeks. These last few weeks found me staring sadly at my computer, to do list in hand, sitting on my bed.

Why do I do this to myself? Well, I realized (i.e. friend told me yesterday) that I needed to be needed. That I feared being obsolete and so when people ask me to do stuff, I have to say yes.

Okay, so maybe that’s true and maybe that’s how I ended up with 5 jobs while homeschooling full time. Now, I have to figure out a way to un-yes everything and still pay my car payment.

2:01am. I am waaay past my bed time.

2013-09-04 19.06.51

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