I Hate Roller Coasters

I used to love roller coasters. In high school, my best friend and I had season passes to Six Flags and we’d make the two-hour drive almost every weekend. We’d stand hours in line for a new ride just to experience the few short minutes of adrenaline and thrill, then pop over to another line for more of the same.

As I got older (and started watching more episodes of Dateline where the effects of faulty coasters were shown in slow motion detail), I started to hate roller coasters until eventually, I stopped riding altogether.

Divorce is like a roller coaster emotionally. At times it feels freeing and easy, and other times your stomach just drops out from under you and you just want to vomit all over the person in front of you.

For six weeks after the day my marriage ended, we still had to live in the same house together. At times the tension got so bad, I would retreat to my bedroom and just sit on the bed with my laptop or a book, lock the door and cry. Or scream. there were times when the pressure was so intense that I would just want to do anything to get away. And then the next day would be better.

Once we physically separated, things definitely got better, but still, from minute to minute, I would fluctuate between freaking out one minute to a feeling of freedom from bondage the next. I could’ve sworn to anyone that I was becoming schizophrenic. I literally thought I was going insane…

But it got better. It will get better. And it DOES get better.

This is a post for the readers that I know (and those I don’t know) that are just starting this journey (I am thinking of you right now with big hugs and much love). It’s a scary and emotional time. My advice is to just hang on. Reach out to your friends and let them help carry you a bit. There were times that I got so tired of fighting I just wanted to give up and those were the times my friends stepped up in full force and did whatever I needed them to do. It’s hard. It sucks, but you’ll get through it. I won’t lie and say that it’ll all be sunshine and roses after a while, but the roller coaster will slow down, you’ll grow as you’d never imagined and even enjoy parts of the ride.

Be strong, my friends. And if you ever need a shoulder to cry on, a friend to have a drink with, or just someone who has been there and has made it this far, I’m only an email/text/phone call away. You’re not alone.

These two guys (in the front) were integral in the weeks/months after my divorce. Without them, I’d be lost. They took it on themselves to fatten me up, make me laugh, let me mourn, and then tell me to stop being a victim and get over it. I don’t think they’ll ever understand the impact they’ve had in my life.

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