A post from a Facebook friend caught my eye the other day. She was asking for advice about a guy she had a crush on. He admitted to having feelings for her too, but he had a girlfriend. The post mentioned that he and his girlfriend didn’t really get along, he was coming into town and my FB friend had plans to meet up with him. She reiterated that she had kept their talks on a “friendship only” level once she found out that he wasn’t single. She wanted advice on whether she should tell him how she felt during their meeting.
Many people chimed in, with the general tone being she should be honest with him, after all, you only live once, etc. I don’t know this Facebook friend personally, but I couldn’t not give my two cents.
My advice: RUN THE OTHER WAY.
(If you’re new to this blog, the reader’s digest version is that my ex cheated on me numerous times and so I have strong opinions about propriety in relationships).
Ladies (and gentleman), if you find yourself in a situation where you’re crushing on someone who is NOT available, move along.
But he and his girlfriend hate each other, you say.
So what? If they hate each other, THEY need to terminate the relationship without your interference. Neither are free to move on, talk to someone, crush on, have feelings for, etc. until they resolve their current situation. Get your butt out of that Dr. Phil episode. He has a girlfriend. No matter the circumstance, his relationship status is TAKEN.
But we just connect on a ‘special’ level as FRIENDS.
Uh huh. If your boyfriend was “connecting” with some girl on a “special level,” how would you feel about that? Any connection where a guy is sharing an emotional connection with a girl, not his girlfriend or family member, is treading in murky waters. Because more often than not, that connection grows into something much more.
But I feel like I should be honest. I won’t do anything about it. Just tell him how I feel.
Let me ask you, what is the point in that? Are you telling him hoping he will break up with his girlfriend for you? Sometimes honesty isn’t the best policy. In fact, in this case, no communication is the best policy. Look beyond your feelings. Think about her feelings. Stop talking to him.
But what if this is our chance?
Again, he’s TAKEN. If it was meant to be, do you really want your fairy tale love story to be one where you stole a guy from someone before they ended it on their terms? I don’t believe that the end justifies the means in most situations. If the two of you are meant to be together, then it will happen without you messing with it.
[RELATED POST: A Letter To The ‘Other Woman’]
Readers, feel free to disagree with me but think about it this way: no matter the situation or circumstance, why would you ever want to be placed in the position where you could potentially be ‘other woman?’ You’re better than that.