If you’ve ever heard The Five Love Languages book, I am hands down an “Acts of Service” type of gal. If you’d never heard of it, the premise is that people show and receive love in various ways – words of affirmation, physical touch, quality time, receiving gifts and acts of service.
When I want to show someone I love them, I give. My dad is the same way and so it’s easy for me to feel loved by him because that is how we both show love – serving others.
When you are with someone and showing them love in your love language, though, they my not receive it because maybe they show love in a different way and then you get empty “love tanks.” Looking back, that was a major problem in my marriage. I gave and gave and gave because that was my language, and he never was able to receive it because his love language was physical touch. So, we each showed our love the way we wanted to receive love. By the time we figured out that neither of us felt love from the other, it was already too late to save anything and we lived 5 more years in frustration because we both didn’t care enough to give the other person the love they needed, the way they wanted it.
I love to serve and give to the people I love. It seems as if I never get exhausted, but when I don’t get it reciprocated, I start feeling resentment and empty. And the same goes for someone who has a different love language. If you are a “gift giver,” and that’s how you show love, if your mate doesn’t ever give you gifts, your “emotional love tank,” the author calls it, will be empty.
Seems so basic, but oh, how I wish someone told me sooner rather than later about this concept. The concept goes for kids, too. So, if you have never heard about the Love Languages, consider this your public service announcement. If you have, this is just a reminder that your loved ones need to be shown love with in their language today 🙂
I wish I had read this book years ago – and I recommend it to everyone! I read the singles edition, but it helped me understand my parents, my siblings, my coworkers, my friends better. Just amazing. Seriously changed the way I view the actions of those around me.
Another good one is “The Sacred Search.” On Sunday I couldn’t put it down and got about 2/3 of the way through. I’ll let you know what I think when I’m done. 🙂