Since I’ve been back, I’ve finally, after almost two years of being a single mom, feel like, well, a single mom. (The fact that there are, like, twenty commas in the first statement kind of proves how fried my brain is right about now).
Homeschooling a 4th grader is hard core. Instead of letting my naturally super smart kid practically self-teach Like she’s insisted on in the past, I’ve been spending all hours squeezing in the Kidlet’s schoolwork like girl trying to get into her bikini in April.
As usual, I flit about doing various things throughout the day – a little bit of laundry, a little bit of email, a little bit of school, a little bit of writing, a little Facebook, a little Instagram, a little bit of this and that and I fall into bed at midnight every night pretty sure I got most things that I planned accomplished.
Today, I didn’t even brush my hair. In fact, I don’t think I brushed my hair more than a couple times in the last few months. (I’m going for the beachy waves look, remember?)
I think the biggest difference about my feeling right now is that I don’t have any help. Last year, I relied heavily on the support of my friends for this or that and that was amazing. This year, even the added tasks to taking out the trash and making lunch threatens to consume me, sending me into a Type A catatonic state of wringing my hands and wondering when I’ll get it all done. I am really thankful that all of my jobs are flexible, though, allowing me to stay mostly at home.
Maybe taking a two-week vacation right at the start of the school year was a crappy idea. Or maybe it helped keep me from OD’ing on overwhelmedness. Who knows. But I can finally say that I know how being a single working mom feels like.
And in one word, frazzled.
I’m not sure I make much sense today and if I don’t then, well, blame it on the frazzledness.