Eat, Pray, Love (Or My Version: Fasting, Insomnia, Kleenex)

I’m pretty slow on the band wagon most of the time. I don’t read books that everyone reads, see movies that are must-sees and follow¬†the latest fashion trends. But I believe that everything happens for a reason at the right time.

For the first time last Friday night, I had some alone time and watched “Eat, Pray, Love.” I found the book in the used section of the library years ago and it has sat on my shelf collecting dust bunnies for 4 years, I’m actually surprised it made the “divorce cut” (the purging of all furniture, books, DVD’s, kitchen appliances, etc from my ill-fated marriage). I watched part of it and ended up finishing it Saturday night after a difficult wedding at around 4am when I found myself with insomnia.

The movie struck me as being so scarily parallel to my own life –emotion wise — and I could see how the world embraced this book and movie. Many times in the movie, I had to stop and let certain quotes sink in as they resonated so deeply within me. I see so many points of my own journey through her memoir.

My own journey, partially shared on this blog, doesn’t start with spaghetti… I feel like in some ways, I’m still the Liz before her self-seeking journey to Italy. That seems so discouraging until I realize that I have grown so much in the last almost 2 years now. Yet, I’m STILL struggling with some issues that I’m not ready to share with the world yet and those issues are causing me loss of appetite, loss of sleep and boxes and boxes of Kleenex.

Shouldn’t I be enjoying the white sandy beaches of Bali right about now??

But in these moments (and they truly are but mere moments, aren’t they?), when the pain is fierce and the only way through it, is…well, through it…it seems like the night will never end, the food remains tasteless and rolls in your stomach and my nose will perpetually be an attractive shade of red and peeling (no matter how soft your Kleenex is). That’s where there is the most growth and self-discovery. I’ve finally learned that the only way to get through it is to let yourself hurt, learn from it, and move on. I’m in one of those moments now. I could use your love and prayers while I work through instead of run from and anesthetize the pain.

Now, because I don’t believe a book can ever be better than the movie, I’m dusting off my copy of Eat, Pray, Love and pretending that I’m on the sandy beaches of Bali.

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