Closing The Deal

Sometimes I don’t understand men.

I know that everyone says women are complicated and difficult to understand and I totally agree (I don’t even understand myself most days…), but all men will say that men are easy to understand. I disagree.

About five months ago, I got messaged by someone on the online dating site I infrequent and we started emailing back and forth regularly. About 6 weeks later, he asked for my number and texted me. It was then I realized that absurdly, that I didn’t even know his name nor he mine.

So for the next five weeks, we randomly texted back and forth, with him always initiating conversation every few days, checking in and saying hi. Finally, one day he strongly hinted that we meet. I finally just forced the issue being tired of waiting for him to ask me out and we set up the first date to go hiking. Three days before I didn’t really hear from him, so I asked if we were still meeting and he portended that he had a feeling he was going to be called into work that weekend. And lo and behold, on Saturday night I get a text that he indeed was called away to work and asked for a rain check.

A few weeks later, he texted me and as usual, the conversation led to what our weekend plans were. He said, “I’m actually not working this weekend for this so and so show like I usually am…I would ask you to go but you’re super busy.” (Mind you, I did not say or even imply that I was busy. In fact, I had nothing on the agenda that weekend). So, I replied with, “So you are just going to assume that I am busy?” And he texted back, “Yes.”

Any chance he had with me (which was already pretty slim and getting slimmer by each text) was gone at that very moment. I did not respond, but what I really wanted to say was “Man up and ask me out, but don’t be a pansy and beat around the bush. CLOSE THE DEAL. Or if you just wanted a pen pal, get off of a DATING site!” I’m just sayin’

So now, every two or three days, like clockwork, this guy texts me with a “Hello, have a good day,” and I have placed him firmly in the Friend Zone. Which makes him like me more, it seems (but not enough to do something about it).

Gentlemen, I realize it is difficult to put yourself out there sometimes for possible rejection. I totally get it. In fact, I haven’t even started sharing the stories of rejection from my high school days –I’m waiting to get to my box of old photos so you can pity me. But seriously, the quickest way to lose any chance with a woman is to show a lack of confidence or make someone feel like she is being strung along. If you like a girl, go get her before she starts thinking that you’re playing games or someone else swoops in and takes her from you.

Mae West once said, “Don’t keep a man guessing too long – he’s sure to find the answer somewhere else.” And the same is absolutely true for the women as well.

Am I just old fashioned in thinking that a man should be the pursuer in a relationship? I think maybe I should’ve been born in another era… And maybe this is why I am still single.

P.S. Ugh. I really want to send him a link to this article.

P.S.S. Sorry, but if you know me at all, I pretty much always say what’s on my mind and it annoys me when people don’t. Of course, saying what’s on my mind gets me in trouble most of the time so it’s probably good not to take my advice…

One thought on “Closing The Deal

  1. ugh. Yeah. Here’s my guess: either he was just too timid to handle a woman in REAL life… or else he already HAS one and was just looking for someone in the digital world to stroke his ego a bit. Either way, you’re better off spending time elsewhere. His loss.

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