If you know me at all, you can see that I am a quiet, unassuming, mousy girl who doesn’t have opinions, ideas or…haha…okay, fine, I can’t even type that sentence out with a straight face.
You all know that I’m a mouthy, sarcastic, independent woman that has no filter, a girl that can take care of herself. Who are we kidding here?
But even as a kick-ass modern gal, I want a man to treat me like a lady. I want the chivalry of old–the knights and the princesses and the courting –damn you, Disney movies…
Steve Harvey, the comedian, recently wrote a dating book called, “Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man: What Men Really Think About Love, Relationships, Intimacy, and Commitment.” He said in an interview on Oprah that, “Chivalry isn’t dead–it just isn’t required anymore.”
Now, don’t throw tomatoes at me, but I absolutely agree with this. (Well, crap, I think I lost all my blog readers in this one post, haha)
Men are simple creatures. Men are not complicated to understand. My roommate, @hashtagbrandon, says that men are like dogs. They need love, attention, and treats. They want us to like them and they want to please us.
Problem is, we, ladies don’t tell them what we want from them.
Ladies, we are beautiful, complex (crazy, drama-filled) creatures. Honestly, I don’t even understand why we do the things we do sometimes…and why we allow men to get away with certain behaviors. We need to show men how they should behave toward us. In our need to have equality and independence (not bad things in itself), we’ve shot ourselves in the foot. Women used to be placed on pedestals and revered, now we open our own doors, split the check on a date and carry our own heavy stuff. Yay us…
What would happen if we required men to treat us like ladies? If we helped them and showed them how we want to be treated? And have enough self-respect to not allow them to treat us without chivalry. Hmmm…interesting thought, huh?
Personally, I want to be treated like a princess and good manners will impress me more than a pretty face, awesome body, or wealth. Here are some things a man could do to charm me. Ladies, you should make your own list…
1. Open the doors – Now, men still generally open doors for women and it is much appreciated, but the other day, my friend opened my car door for me. I was immediately impressed because the car door takes a lot more effort. I also take note and appreciate when a man opens the door for others –not just me, as well.
2. “Guides me” while walking – It might be just me, but I love it when a man has a gentle hand on the small of my back to guide me. I feel protected and cared for.
3. Calls instead of texts – now, I’m really kind of awkward on the phone, but I still am impressed when the man takes the time to call me instead of texts. But I do have to add that I also do love the “Good morning, Beautiful” (or “Good night, Beautiful”) texts.
4. Checks and makes sure I got home safe – after he walks me to the car to make sure I got to the car safely. I’m a wimp and prefer not to be attacked in a dark parking lot
5. Offers his jacket – I’m cold all the time.
6. Helps me carry heavy bags – Guys are stronger and honestly, I’m kind of lazy, haha.
7. Calls me beautiful – I had a man tell me I was beautiful this weekend. A nice change from the rest that tells me that I’m “hot.”
8. Gives up his seat – Such a nice and selfless act. I really respect a man who does this.
9. Pays (or offers to pay) — In my 30+ years, I’ve never paid for anything in the presence of my dad, and neither has my mom.
10. Does the chasing/makes the first move — I know, in the effort to sound more old fashioned than I already do, I believe a guy should chase the girl. Guys are the “hunter/gatherers” as @hahstagbandon likes to say.
I’m sure there are lots of you out there who disagree with me, but that’s okay. I’m going to start requiring some chivalry from men and if that makes me an old fashioned princess wannabe, so be it.
P.S. I’m not saying that chivalry is dead. (There. That should save me a few hate emails…)
One thought on “Chivalry: I Think We Killed It”
Who are you, Pandora?
Seriously, I HAVE that man. But I had to give up a few notions of “feminism” to keep him. A man like this likes strong women, but not one that is too strong to need him. He wants to make the first move, but is sometimes pleasantly – um – surprised when I do. When and if you become a family unit, somebody has to be in charge. He is (although my complex femininity is really good at getting what I want.) He wants to be thanked for doing what he does, even though he may forget to thank me. He wants to conquer the dragon, and since I don’t, I let him. We watch macho films together (ok, I’m usually reading, but I try to stay in the same room) and I don’t force him to watch chick flicks. There’s a lot more, but that’s a little bit of it, just an attitude of reminding yourself what is important – do you want to be right or do you want to be loved?