I used to love roller coasters. In high school, my best friend and I had season passes to Six Flags and we’d make the two-hour drive almost every weekend. We’d stand hours in line for a new ride just to experience the few short minutes of adrenaline and thrill, then pop over to another line for more of the same.

As I got older (and started watching more episodes of Dateline where the effects of faulty coasters were shown in slow motion detail), I started to hate roller coasters until eventually, I stopped riding altogether.

Divorce is like a roller coaster emotionally. At times it feels freeing and easy, and other times your stomach just drops out from under you and you just want to vomit all over the person in front of you.

For six weeks after the day my marriage ended, we still had to live in the same house together. At times the tension got so bad, I would retreat to my bedroom and just sit on the bed with my laptop or a book, lock the door and cry. Or scream. there were times when the pressure was so intense that I would just want to do anything to get away. And then the next day would be better.

Once we physically separated, things definitely got better, but still, from minute to minute, I would fluctuate between freaking out one minute to a feeling of freedom from bondage the next. I could’ve sworn to anyone that I was becoming schizophrenic. I literally thought I was going insane…

But it got better. It will get better. And it DOES get better.

This is a post for the readers that I know (and those I don’t know) that are just starting this journey (I am thinking of you right now with big hugs and much love). It’s a scary and emotional time. My advice is to just hang on. Reach out to your friends and let them help carry you a bit. There were times that I got so tired of fighting I just wanted to give up and those were the times my friends stepped up in full force and did whatever I needed them to do. It’s hard. It sucks, but you’ll get through it. I won’t lie and say that it’ll all be sunshine and roses after a while, but the roller coaster will slow down, you’ll grow as you’d never imagined and even enjoy parts of the ride.

Be strong, my friends. And if you ever need a shoulder to cry on, a friend to have a drink with, or just someone who has been there and has made it this far, I’m only an email/text/phone call away. You’re not alone.

I’d be lying if I said that as I look back on my life thus far that I was glad to have been through all the struggles, experiences, and well, crap, on this journey. I’d love to have woken up this morning next to my soulmate, snuggled a bit before getting the Kidlet up for breakfast–a healthy, vegetarian, gluten-free, low carb, delicious meal prepared by my personal chef, of course, and spent the day doing school, not running around like crazy and ending the day kissing my daughter, my dog and the love of my life good night. It would be nice to look in the mirror every morning and not focus on my insecurities and move through the day unencumbered by emotional baggage and doubts.

I’d be lying if I said that as a little girl, I dreamed my life would be where it is today. When I played house with my friends, (I was always the “mom” since I was the bossiest and everyone did what I told them to do), I never pictured life as a single mom trying to navigate the mess and ridiculousness of the dating world.

Yet, today as I answer another email from someone telling me that what I shared on my blog has helped them in some way in their own situation, I am glad that I can use my experiences to help someone else. I know I’ve said it before here but it’s true. Thank you for those that have taken the time to read, relate, and cheer me on. Every like on Facebook, comment, email, text, and phone call makes it just a bit better for me to know that in my long journey, I am helping people. I may not be living the life I dreamed of in the past, but I am still living the dream. Thanks for being a part of it.

NYC Update: Yes. I am still in NY and yes, we are in the middle of Hurricane Sandy. We are safe in our hotel in Upper Manhattan and will be flying home (fingers crossed) on Wednesday night 🙂

Have you seen the movie Hitch? It’s the one where Will Smith plays a “dating doctor” and gives men advice on how to get the girl.

Well, in the course of this journey, I’ve picked up my very own Hitch. I call him, tell him my dating dilemmas and he guides me through what to say, what to wear, what to do, what the guy is thinking based on what he said, etc. It’s all quite fascinating really and a little pathetic on my part, I guess.

So recently, I called him up and asked him why guys were so fickle. I didn’t seem to have any problems attracting a man’s attention but keeping him interested seemed to be difficult. And the drop off would be really random and sudden like one day he would be into me and then the next day he literally would fall off the face of the earth.

He listened as I gave him details of my situation and he asked me some questions. After a few minutes, he responds with, “He either has found another option (Don’t get me started on the options rant again!) or you need to be more mysterious. Guys like a girl that keep them guessing a bit.”

So, let me get this straight. It’s not enough for a woman to be attractive, be able to hold an intelligent conversation, be fun, have a sense of humor, be confident, honest, smart, financially independent, and talented. She ALSO has to be mysterious.

Excuse my language, but eff that. If a man loses interest in me because I’m not “mysterious” enough, he isn’t worth my effort, energy, or time.

And to that, my Hitch replied, “You never listen. This is why you are still single.”

So, I have to be a listener TOO??! FML.